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Every parent would love to connect with their children on a heart-to-heart level and be open about their feelings, dreams, and fears. But let’s face it, during the daytime, kids at a young age can be a handful, and it’s not very easy for moms to build an open-hearted relationship with them. This is why many moms use bedtime as the perfect opportunity to engage with their little ones on a deeper level.

We at Bright Side found that many moms use effective pillow talk questions to connect with their kids right before bedtime, and we prepared a list of the top 7 just for you.

1. “Who’s the kindest person that you know and why?”

Encouraging your kid to think about kindness right before bedtime will eventually build a habit for them to look for kindness in people. And intentionally seeking out kindness will allow your kid to be aware of his/her potential to be kind in life. Encouraging your kids to think about kindness will also bring out more of their own kind side as well.

2. “What made you feel safe today and what didn’t?”

Learning all the things that make your kid feel safe will help you as a parent know how to build their self-esteem and confidence. Also, learning about the things that didn’t make them feel safe will encourage your kids to come to you and open up about similar things in the future.

3. “What was your favorite part of the day?”

Asking this question allows your children to relive the feelings they get when they think about their favorite part of the day. It boosts joyful feelings and gives your kids the chance to reflect on the happy moments of the day right before they shut their eyes.

4. “What was the worst part of your day?”

Pinpointing the exact moments of the day that made your kid feel bad is something that every parent needs to practice. It will create a more trusting relationship between you and your kids, allowing them to express their feelings, even for the things they don’t want to talk about.

It’s okay to talk about negative things, such as bad choices, irresponsibility, or disrespect, as they are all real things in life that will definitely happen to them. And walking them through those bad moments will help you teach them better ways to handle similar situations in the future.

5. “Do you have any questions about today?”

At an early age, kids naturally have a lot of questions. And encouraging them to share any insecurities and questions they may have about a particular part of the day will help you build a more trusting relationship with them. And practicing this habit will let you build a “safe space” with them as they’ll be more likely to come to you with any other questions they might have.

6. “What’s something that made you angry today?”

Your kid may be struggling with something that makes them angry, but you might not know about it if you don’t ask them directly. So asking them to be upfront about the things that make them angry will help them learn how to express emotions at an early age.

7. “What was the nicest thing you did for someone today?”

Even if they didn’t do anything nice for anyone that day, by repeatedly asking this question before bedtime, your kids will be stimulated to do something nice about someone in the future and share their experience with you.

Are there any other effective bedtime routines you practice to strengthen the bond with your kids?

Please note: This article was updated in December 2021 to correct source material and factual inaccuracies.

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